Powerlessness

I am powerless over many things…
Alcohol
Playmates and playgrounds.
I am powerless over nicotine and caffeine
cheesecake and cheese doodles.
I’m powerless over sugar and bread,
and sometimes even the voices in my head.
Once my monkey brain has made the connection
the dialogue runs on until I remove
the offending substance from my vicinity.
My monkey brain dances with glee,
hoping to take me down…
I tell myself…
Pour the vodka down the drain–
do not smell or lick the bottle
or tip it up for one last drop.
Dump the powder in the toilet–
do not sniff or lick your fingers
for whatever dust is left behind.
Toss the cheesecake in the trash–
do not taste or lick the plate
or save a single slice.
Empty the pill bottle into the toilet–
do not save the bottle
for a later refill.
And still my monkey brain dances with glee,
waiting to take me down.

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About Lori Crockett

I am loving life in long-term sobriety. I want to share my thoughts and my beliefs, my inspiration and my experiences with those of you who are also living in recovery. I want to provide a forum for you, my readers, to respond and share with your comments and emails and feedback. I hope by sharing my personal thoughts and feelings here that I can connect with people and extend support, understanding and most importantly--hope. I rely on yoga, meditation, healthy eating, and exercise to enhance my own sobriety, health and quality of life and would like to share what I have learned over the years. I love reading, the beach, gardening, walking my dog, and cuddling with my cats. I love working with others through volunteer work and through service work in my recovery program.
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3 Responses to Powerlessness

  1. theresa says:

    nice work! you are such a ray of light lori!

    Like

  2. chippermg says:

    I love the fighter in you!
    Chip

    Like

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